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Monday, December 31. 2012Tudu tudu boum boum pteropodidae
I just wanted to write a new year post for the feeling.
I thought about writing a New Years Resolutions List, but seeing how if I want to do something I actually do it, and if I don't want to I need to think. THis last sentence makes no sense. I need a resolutions list, but that would be full of things I should do and if I think and look at it closely, these things Put simply, these things I "need" to do stressed me out enough and it just don't interest me anymore now that I thought about it and I believe if I go wrong I can still go right. So many things went right this year. So, maybe I'd do a list of things I want to do, but if I don't do these it's because I have no time so no need for a list to get me to do these. I don't want to bother myself with that. Still for the feeling: I just can't do resolutions lists! Today, super party with my actual bitch. I need to care for her, or she might go away scared by the boom boom of the new year. I sound drunk, but I'm just tired and only ate and slept and watched the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air to emulate my mule (= my dog.) It's a sure thing. If I'm too stressed by something that's not even interesting to me anymore, I'd better concentrate my energy on something else ; I might go wrong, but I'll go right somewhere else, and I'm going wrong anyway. I'll find success in what I'll concentrate my energy on instead, what I really want to do. (Not wishing you bad luck, just somehow got into that weird pose thing.) I've a fruit bat necklace. OUI, MOI. I got an ornement from Dellamorteco and just made a necklace with it. It's adorable and will let me showcase my love of chiropteras in a really detailed way. I feel like protecting it and it's not even alive. <3 Plus: technically, I didn't pay for that. Pictures of our dog/me party: If I should go out there, I'd wear my Black Fake Leather Vest. I'm stuck with my dog and pizzas, so I wear a cardigan reminding me of tales' granny imagery with industrial embroidery. (Industrial embroidery is shame I'm gonna embroider stuffs myself.) Another fast thought about how Christiane Rochefort's books reminds me too much of today and are still very actual and meaningful. My I love this dog. She is actually asleep as I'm writing that, rolled in a small fur ball, paw on nose. Happy new year and do what you want. If you're in the same context as me, finally doing what you actually want for yourself outside of what others see of you is the best decision you can do. Wednesday, December 26. 2012Inspiration #2 and showing the way I feel, I feel for real
This post will be like a messy potpourri. I guess I'm wishing everybody great holidays, but to be honest I should have done so earlier, as Hanoukka finished more than a week ago and as I'm not celebrating either Christmas or Hanoukka or what have you, which is sad since I have nothing nice to do with my family (love, unity, all that) these days. I feel like even if my family celebrated something by tradition or faith, it'd be sort of an illusion with nobody wanting to be there. One year, my aunt invited us for Christmas; I remember having watched Fashion TV then, something about Karl Lagerfeld and Chanel's collection being inspired by the seas but not in a cliché way.
Thanks god (verbal tic, thanks?), our city organizes free food things in late december, and lots of parties at the end of the year. I'll make an ~apparition~ and maybe meet people who went to school with me and not have anything to say. Funky. (I succeeded at depressing the last person I saw, telling her I was clinically depressed in collège, which depressed us both.) I sound really negative, but the idea of eating free almonds galettes is really enthusiasting to me. I just don't know how to sound happy without mentioning the less happy things to constrast. I love the decorations in the street in december, and the Christmas market especially since there have been very few tourists this year (nothing against tourists, but please compare to last year when I almost got drowned under giant talking leather coats, see petition against genetically modified clothes.) What I like the most, is the fact I could walk around all night two nights ago and no condescending asshole criticized me because, argh, according to them young people are dangerous so either I am in danger or I am a danger (it happens rarely, but even if seeing me as a woman makes them think I'm not a danger, they still think shit of me because I'm young.) I guess they're always basing themselves on the idea that even if you want to walk a bit, you don't have any valid reason (that would validate your agency over your own damn body!) but meeting your family for Christmas (= take advantage of the lack of tram to have fun walking, running, dancing and rolling over the rails!) is a sufficient reason to not meet any asshole! By asshole, I mean them, 'cause they're the first to make you feel like you don't have the right to be violent or react if you actually got assaulted and their shitty stereotypes are dangerous seeing how these assholes actually base themselves on them to be violent, seeing you as a threat, and if you defend yourself it confirms their stereotypes, étant donné que ces raclures se basent dessus pour être violents et que si la personne se défend ça confirme leurs stéréotypes, even if these stereotypes can't cohabitate with other stereotypes they have. They hold these prejudices to be self-evident. Then most people who'd actually assault you (mostly during day, mostly older than you, and almost always far away from your "dangerous district"!) are basing themselves on the non-benevolent version of these prejudices and hard-to-break soft ideas; after a while it. really. gets on your nerves! Well, that day all but two of the people I met wished me good holidays! It was nice. You need to know, when I went out of my house, I was really irritated, and would kick some walls and stuffs walking by. Then I realized I could do stuffs on these rails that I couldn't do at these hours habitually! Without dying! Then I couldn't sleep because I was too excited. After a while, I was irritated or rather angry/sad again, so I did a few collages to channel my angry sadness, seeing how 1. I don't want to hurt myself 2. I wouldn't wake my mother up, it's like gremlins and water or food or I don't know I didn't watch these movies! So I did that: Reminded me of this by Camil Tulcan : Once I got really tired, I made another one for my tiredness, which made me even more sleepy: Then, I did this one quickly instead of something else I had to do: There was more I wanted to post, but I'll keep that for later or this post would be too long. Happy holidays!
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Defined tags for this entry: émotions, inspiration
Friday, December 21. 2012The moon and me
Something I wore a few days ago:
My mom bought me or rather gave me money to buy the skirt for my birthday. It's from La Redoute. I've wanted a skirt like that for a long time (LITERALLY YEARS!), but expected to buy a black, white or light pink one. When I found one in that color, I was happy. At first I wore it with a long black shirt wrapped around my waist, but it didn't look like I wanted. It would have been better with a lace or crochet shawl or shirt. As I went home, the moon was already there: These, hmm, trees' arms makes me think of fractals. Or insects' legs. Pardon my tremendously big lack of english vocabulary. (I'm proud of the first moon photo as I just edited a bit the raw version. Didn't even need to crop it.) Tuesday, December 18. 2012I'm not Brian, but I'm in the kitchen
I'm in the kitchen. One of the only properly lit room in this appartment. Real light so we can see things.
That and the living room. Except in the living room, we do not have properly working stores, so we feel like we're being watched; in fact, we're probably being watched! Most of the time it's not a problem, I do what I need to do during the day or I sleep during the day and do nothing at night. Today my mom was hurling at the phone, so I couldn't concentrate. Well, I say hurling, but don't worry: she was just speaking in alsacian, which sounds just the same to me. It's like some kind of happy hurling. Then it was dark, and I saw too badly. I could concentrate on seeing correctly, so I messed up. As I'm in the kitchen, the fabric scraps with which I'm gonna make bracelets and necklaces will smell like pommes sautées or whatever that smell of the kitchen is. The freezer makes a weird, supportable sound. I got this dress for 1€. It has a white, wrinkly collar and ending-of-sleeves, which I can't wait to unsew. It's not wrinkly on purpose, but because of lack of care from previous owner. Or because I didn't iron it. Either way, it looks better without the collar and with 7/8 sleeves. The cardigan sweater I got from my 10 or 11-years-old, when it was way too big. When I saw it again in my closet, I wondered why I didn't give it away, then thought that I'll probably regret giving it away after thinking of a way to wear it (that kind of stuffs happens to me a lot!) Then I couldn't find one of my other, better red cardigan. So I wore it. And it does look good. The only thing I can reproach is that the collar stay up after being opened. I like this cardigan, now. I guess I didn't like it because I wore it mainly when I was in a bad place in life. The smell is becoming increasingly offensive! Sunday, December 16. 2012You often see cool stuffs you can't photography
Hey knees, In the streets of Strasbourg, near the ponts couverts : I had to take these pictures with a mp3 player I got for free! Also, a green bike, a red bike; and the green bike has a red chain. IT JUST MAKES ME HAPPY! I was wearing this that day: I was told these necklaces were made in Congo, so if anybody ever ask I'll say I got these in Congo (Cronenbourg's annual flea market), since I have a private airplane, and I got the bermudas last century, since I also have a private time machine. When I want, I rewind, fast forward. Let's rewind Hey knees, Fast forward Good night! Another day, I stole my neighbors' bike, but only for a picture since it's made for someone with really weird propotions : I found a way to wear that mask all the time! Hmm, well, yeah, though wearing it on a hat was a pretty obvious idea, it adds something. At first I wanted this scarf thingy to look more ruffy, but since I had to constantly correct how it looked, I let it go. I won my chess game during the club tournament, but I played very, very badly which just makes me feel weird about winning. Otherwise, I got lost in Niederhausbergen taking the bus, couldn't do anything I wanted to do since it was too late. I almost had a panic attack and I don't mean it as an exaggeration, but then I found a nice cute little children park decorated for Christmas, and it was so playground-like and there were these littlegingerbread men as decorations and all. Couldn't take a decent picture, but I decided to make the most of the fact I was lost in a pretty place and had fun. There were real, live storks! Going back home in another bus, it stopped near a car where a baby was looking at me, so I waved hello and ze answered me! It was just nice, because the baby was waving hello to me, not expecting anything from me and looking happy : Good night!
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