Today is my birthday. Today I'm turning sixteen.
Not even funny like a John Hugues' movie.
It's ridiculous.
Once was that period of my life, when every birthday I felt like they were stealing me something. (from my life, out of me, something I didn't have the time to develop, because of school and stuffs, didn't felt the autorisation, and yet they were stealing that from me)
Now, I don't care anymore.
Thought about this, recently: as I was, say, ten, thirteen years-old, I felt ashamed going to the adult department of my neighbourhood library. I felt watched. I was scared one would ask me questions. They did ask.
I could be there only for a stupid assigment. "It's for school?"
So, I felt ashamed, because it wasn't the case; when I said it was for school, they didn't stop talkin', even if I asked them to... when I said it wasn't, even if I had a fucking adult library card, they would try to redirect me to the child/young department, despite the highly probability that I was there knowing that the book I wanted was here too.
I thought if I didn't felt ashamed anymore, it was because I mentally improved, you know, with these psychological stuffs I have.
I understood it was wrong.
It's just I know that it won't seem so weird if now I did browse that fucking adult department. They won't bother me anymore.
One of the most interesting books I read as a 13 years-old was Centuries of Childhood (L’enfant et la vie familiale sous l’Ancien Régime) by Philippe Ariès.
I should feel ashamed speaking of that shit.
When you're a kid or a toddler, and show your emotions, it's a whimy caprice, and if you're an adolescent it's that you are in your crisis.
If you're a woman, they say you have your periods; if you're a man, that you're a fag.
They would like a law against emotion-showing, but they feel as well.
One day, they'll need to show their emotions, then I'll laugh at their faces.
(ah ah, je vous ai eu, elle raconte qu'elle est amoureuse, et je vais pas continuer en analysant cette pièce ou que sais-je parce que je l'ai pas lue) Je ne suis pas une vraie féministe moi-même parce qu'on me taperait dessus si je l'étais, mais ça m'i
Tracked: Dec 07, 23:46