The Scavenger's Daughter

Basically French ezine Rafale is giving a call for papers since some times.
That's not a computing stuffs zine, much more like a poisoning people zine. Well, no, as it counts as drugs. But there are interesting stuffs indeed.
Don't miss it if you speak French: -> CFP Rafale #14 <-

And here is a gopherspace with interesting stuffs and articles and ezines: gopher://isisunveiled.no-ip.org/
New files every day.

Today is my birthday. Today I'm turning sixteen.
Not even funny like a John Hugues' movie.
It's ridiculous.
Once was that period of my life, when every birthday I felt like they were stealing me something. (from my life, out of me, something I didn't have the time to develop, because of school and stuffs, didn't felt the autorisation, and yet they were stealing that from me)
Now, I don't care anymore.

Thought about this, recently: as I was, say, ten, thirteen years-old, I felt ashamed going to the adult department of my neighbourhood library. I felt watched. I was scared one would ask me questions. They did ask.
I could be there only for a stupid assigment. "It's for school?"
So, I felt ashamed, because it wasn't the case; when I said it was for school, they didn't stop talkin', even if I asked them to... when I said it wasn't, even if I had a fucking adult library card, they would try to redirect me to the child/young department, despite the highly probability that I was there knowing that the book I wanted was here too.
I thought if I didn't felt ashamed anymore, it was because I mentally improved, you know, with these psychological stuffs I have.
I understood it was wrong.
It's just I know that it won't seem so weird if now I did browse that fucking adult department. They won't bother me anymore.

One of the most interesting books I read as a 13 years-old was Centuries of Childhood (L’enfant et la vie familiale sous l’Ancien Régime) by Philippe Ariès.

I should feel ashamed speaking of that shit.
When you're a kid or a toddler, and show your emotions, it's a whimy caprice, and if you're an adolescent it's that you are in your crisis.
If you're a woman, they say you have your periods; if you're a man, that you're a fag.
They would like a law against emotion-showing, but they feel as well.
One day, they'll need to show their emotions, then I'll laugh at their faces.

Yeah, that's a blog with words you put in.
Should talk about with therapeutic psychiatric dude, but don't have one anymore; plus that were always gals.
I'm not being sexist here: the people who thought the therapy would work better because we were both gals were.
I've got, like, ten to twenty of those during my short lifetime — always fucking women and none told me why I was here?
Not here on this earth, I mean, why I was in a therapy or a psychiatrist cabinet or whatever.

I wish we could not be bullied by mean people.
If ya mean peoples sat in the room... let them get up and remind themselves they are being fucking dilettante!
For if they weren't, they would do something clever and properly most heinous instead of insulting less-powerful people by waiting for them every morning with the ferm intention of bullying.
They would do something like they were supervillains. Making people suffer in front of their family, but not by making them suffer of being mocked by an idiot, no. Something like the Joker would do, or something with cyanide, instead of these "fag stuffs", as they would say, where they don't even take a risk of being called "not a good person", since it's considered cool and great and "what ya shall do" to sexually harass whatever the fuck is this girl who wait in that lin at McDonald's, or making them feel bad.


Anyway, here's the most, urrrh, hideous picture of my little puppy: